


All Through the Night

by irishavalon



Series: Nights on the Roof [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Tony Stark, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Insomnia, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Takes place after Infinity Wars, but before the film comes out, one-shot sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 19:31:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishavalon/pseuds/irishavalon
Summary: "He has his hand on the door knob when F.R.I.D.A.Y suddenly speaks. “Sir?”“Is Loki on the roof again?”“Yes, sir.”“Got it.”He berates himself for being stupid the entire way up to the roof, but doesn’t change his mind. Loki doesn’t turn around when he opens the door, but the Asgardian seems to be waiting for him to show."Tony can't sleep. Neither can Loki. They find themselves on the roof of Avengers Tower every night, and they talk.





	All Through the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a song by Sleeping At Last.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Sir?” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice is barely audible over the rock music blasting through the lab.

“Yeah,” Tony answers around the tiny screwdriver held between his lips for safekeeping while he works.

“You told me to keep an eye on Loki, sir, should the Asgardian leave his rooms.”

Tony continues tinkering with his suit, not particularly concerned. He can’t hear any screaming from upstairs, so Loki can’t have started a rebellion at two in the morning. Yet. 

“What’s he doing?” Tony asks the A.I. casually.

“Loki is on the roof. He appears to be experiencing some insomnia.”

Tony snorts. “He’s not the only one. Let me know when he leaves the roof.”

“Yes, sir.”

Loki has been living at Avengers Tower for a few weeks now. After defeating Thanos and his followers (without many casualties, Tony is shocked to note), Loki, the Valkyrie, and Thor took up residence with the other Avengers in New York. The residents of the city-- not to mention several Avengers-- weren’t particularly thrilled to have Loki back in their midst, but after the god helped to defeat the Mad Titan, Loki has been permitted to stay. 

The number of people in the Tower who trust Loki can be counted on one hand: Thor unconditionally; Valkyrie, Bruce, and surprisingly Vision with some conditions; and Tony, very tentatively. His careful trust in the Asgardian didn’t keep him from discreetly asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. to keep tabs on Loki, though. Just in case. 

Tony continues experimenting with the suit in the early hours of the morning without further interruption until about four-thirty, when F.R.I.D.A.Y turns down his music again to get his attention.

“She seems to be returning to her rooms, sir.”

The pronoun gives Tony pause. “She?” he asks.

“Loki identifies as genderfluid, does she not?” F.R.I.D.A.Y asks.  _ Right _ , Tony thinks. Loki revealed this to the Avengers shortly after Thanos’s defeat. “I believe she is now identifying as a woman, given that she has transformed her sleepwear into a nightgown, and her body has become more feminine in places.”

Tony bites his lip at the image F.R.I.D.A.Y has painted in his mind. It does not help that this treacherous person is ridiculously attractive; Tony hates to admit it, but Loki in all her forms is offensively hot. Tony isn’t  _ interested _ , of course, and he certainly hasn’t been  _ looking _ . Loki’s just attractive from an objectively appreciative standpoint. Yeah, that’s it. 

  
  
  
  


The next night F.R.I.D.A.Y interrupts him at two in the morning again. This time, Tony sets down his tools and turns off the music. He’s not sure why he does it, but he takes the elevator through the silent tower to the top floor, and then climbs the concrete stairs to the roof. He sees Loki sitting in a lounge chair, looking out at the city lit by streetlights. It’s beautiful and quieter than usual, and one of Tony’s favorite parts of living in New York, though he’s usually in his basement lab at this time of night.

Loki peers around the back of the chair when Tony pushes open the heavy door. Neither person speaks as Tony approaches Loki, walking around the chair to sit in another one beside the Asgardian. A quick glance reveals Loki is still in their woman form from the day, though their black-and-green dress has been replaced by a surprisingly chaste white cotton nightgown. Tony understands the nightgown and… “feminine parts” is not necessarily proof of Loki’s gender, however. He sits down, Loki watching him with their bewitching green eyes the entire time. 

“What’s your gender?” Tony asks conversationally, and has the satisfaction of watching Loki’s eyes widen marginally for a fraction of a second before they regain control of their expression. 

“Woman. She.” Loki turns away, looking back out at the sea of lights and skyscrapers before adding, “You are the only one besides my brother to think to ask that.”

Tony is surprised. He watches Loki quietly for a moment, not sure how to respond to the admission. “Vision and F.R.I.D.A.Y seem to know your gender most of the time.” he points out.

Loki huffs a quiet laugh. “They are artificial intelligence beings,” she says. “They take external signifiers and make assumptions based on gender conventions. They are incapable of picking up on expressions of my nonbinary gender.”

“Lots of big words,” Tony comments.

Loki looks at him. “They use stereotypes to work out my gender,” she says, very slowly.

Tony swats playfully at her. “I know what the words mean, asshole. I was just saying.” Loki rolls her eyes. More seriously, Tony replies, “I didn’t think of that. So why are you awake at this hour?”

“Why are  _ you _ ?” Loki counters.

“Fair point,” Tony says with a small smile that he’s startled and pleased to see returned. He looks out at the skyline to ignore the thoughts of  _ Shit, she’s lovely, _ that rise unbidden within him. After a moment, he speaks again. “Apparently a side effect of post-traumatic stress disorder is insomnia.”

“What is that?” Loki asks.

“What is what? Post-traumatic stress disorder or insomnia?”

“I know what insomnia is. The first bit, idiot.” Loki says impatiently.

Tony’s not sure he wants to have this conversation with the alien being who played a significant role in giving him the fucking PTSD in the first place, but they’re having such a non-antagonistic, sarcasm-free conversation-- a rarity for them, even now-- that Tony finds himself trying to come up with an explanation in spite of himself.

“It means that I experienced something really terrible, so terrible that it fucked with my head and now won’t leave me alone.” Tony says, grimacing at the simplistic explanation of the indescribable war the acronym has waged on his nerves and personality for six goddamn years. “Random things make me panic and I can’t sleep sometimes. It’s not really as simple as that sounds, but-- what?”

Loki is staring at him, eyes wide. “There’s a  _ word _ for it?” She asks, incredulously.

Tony scratches the back of his neck self-consciously. “Uh… yeah. There’s a word for everything really. You, too, huh?” 

Loki nods slowly, but stops mid-nod and turns away quickly. Tony watches her face close off again. He wishes she wouldn’t do that; she makes much more sense to him when she lets herself be seen. She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“Why can’t you sleep, Loki?” He doesn’t know what makes him ask again. Maybe he wants to know her better. Maybe he just wants this conversation last longer than it naturally would. Maybe he has a death wish. 

Loki is quiet for a long time. She tips her head back to look up at the dark, almost starless sky. The crescent moon shines overhead, already starting to sink toward the horizon. Tony watches the white of her throat, the dark of her long, black eyelashes, the dip and crest of her angled cheekbones. He swallows and follows her gaze to the sky, ignoring the inexplicable ache in his chest that he doesn’t want to think about, that ache that definitely  _ doesn’t  _ mean he wants her. He listens to her breathing; the rhythm sounds like his just before or just after a panic attack, when he’s trying to pretend he’s calm and okay. He wonders if Loki gets panic attacks.  _ Can _ gods get panic attacks?

Tony is almost dozing off when Loki finally answers his question, startling him into full consciousness again. “It won’t leave me alone.” She says steadily, echoing his previous words. Tony draws his gaze back to her, and sees that she’s looking at him, too. Her green eyes look tired, but that’s all they give away. She doesn’t clarify what “it” is, and Tony doesn’t ask her to. He doesn’t think they’re close enough for that yet. He asked an A.I. to spy on her, for Christ’s sake. And anyway, he didn’t tell her his trauma, either. He’s definitely not ready for that. So he looks at her, and she looks at him, and they stay like that until at last Loki yawns. 

“I think I’ll try to sleep for a few hours,” she says, pulling herself gracefully to her feet. The skirt of her nightgown flutters gently around her thighs and Tony makes sure he doesn’t stare. “Good-night, Tony Stark.”

When Tony finally finds his voice to bid her good-night, Loki is already opening the door to the stairwell. Tony watches her go. When the door closes behind her, he lets his head fall back against the chair’s headrest with a groan. He might be fucked.

  
  
  


 

The next night Tony is actually able to sleep, and so doesn’t find out until morning that F.R.I.D.A.Y tried to wake him with an update on Loki, again on the roof late into the night. The god doesn’t show his face (a masculine day today; Tony made sure to ask) until after noon, starting to look a little worse for wear. Tony hands him a strong cup of coffee without being asked, and the tired, grateful smile Loki gives him makes Tony’s heart stutter. He grunts in response and hides in his lab for the next six hours, ignoring Steve completely when he tries to get in sometime in the late afternoon.

That night he lays in bed but sleep doesn’t come. He gets up around midnight and pulls on a T-shirt, thinking if he spends the next three hours in the lab, he should be able to finish the project he started this afternoon. 

He has his hand on the door knob when F.R.I.D.A.Y suddenly speaks. “Sir?”

“Is Loki on the roof again?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Got it.” 

He berates himself for being stupid the entire way up to the roof, but doesn’t change his mind. Loki doesn’t turn around when he opens the door, but the Asgardian seems to be waiting for him to show.

“Are you still a guy?” Tony asks, in place of a greeting.

“Why is your A.I. spying on me?” Loki asks, in place of an answer.

“What?” Tony asks, trying to sound innocent, but knowing he fails.

Loki does look at him then, smirking with eyebrows raised. “Yes, I’m still a guy,” he says. “I’m also not stupid.”

“I didn’t say--”

“Why is your A.I., whom I believe is called Friday for some reason, spying on me, Stark?” Loki interrupts, his voice starting to rise. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”

“Last time you were here you tried to enslave the planet, entranced my coworkers, staged an alien invasion, and opened a portal that almost killed me!” Tony blurts defensively. “So forgive me for not quite trusting you! Would  _ you _ ?”

Loki looks at him, blank expression as ever, and then stands up.  _ Fuck.  _ Tony hadn’t meant to get angry. Loki turns away and moves as if to go back into the building. “No,” Tony says desperately, also something he didn’t mean to say. He reaches out to touch Loki’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Don’t leave because of me. I’ll go.”

Loki turns back to look at him, looking like he’s trying hard not to show offense. He sits back down and gestures to the other chair. “It’s your building, your roof, your chair. Stay if you want to stay.” He folds his arms and does a very good job of looking like it doesn’t matter either way to him. Tony sees a vein jump slightly in his jaw, and suspects otherwise. 

Tony hesitates, having a vague suspicion that this is a trap. But then he decides to be caught and sits down. He’s not sure what to say, and when he looks up just in time to see the surprise pass over Loki’s face, he realizes Loki fully expected him to walk out. “Do you want me to leave?” he asks. Loki shrugs nonchalantly. “Do you want me to leave?” he asks again. He’s content to ask again and again until he gets as honest an answer as Loki is able to give. He will not let Loki win this backhanded argument. Loki stares at him hard, and Tony asks again, careful to keep his voice calm. Loki glares scathingly, and Tony asks a fourth time. 

Loki looks away, directing his vicious glare at the ground, and Tony tries not to mentally celebrate prematurely. “No,” Loki says, quietly and as poisonous as his glare. 

Tony stares at him silently until Loki finally looks back up at him. “I don’t completely trust you yet.” he admits carefully. Loki’s frown deepens. “No, listen. My dad was a piece of shit who fed me lies my entire life. His business partner who was practically a second father to me conspired to have me shot at and kidnapped in the Middle East. Very few people in my life have ever been honest with me. The first time I met you, you were working for the asshole who just tried to obliterate the planet. I have trouble trusting people as it is without that kind of polluted history.”

When Loki doesn’t respond, Tony looks away and continues. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper. You have every right to be offended that I’m spying on you. I’ll tell F.R.I.D.A.Y to stop watching you.”

“Should I believe you?” Loki asks skeptically. Tony meets his eyes to see him raising an eyebrow. He gives the god a crooked smile.

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y?” he calls.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?” the A.I.’s voice comes over the speaker near the door. 

“Cease and desist Operation Stake-Out.” Tony says. Loki rolls his eyes at the codename. 

“Understood, sir. I will no longer inform you of Loki’s whereabouts.”

Tony grins at Loki. “Yes, you should believe me.”

Loki stares at Tony without speaking until Tony starts to feel a little unnerved. “You are an enigma, Tony Stark.”

“Thanks?”

“I don’t think I like it.”

Tony just laughs as Loki continues to frown at him. He thinks he can get used to this odd little relationship.

  
  
  


 

The next night F.R.I.D.A.Y is silent, but Tony makes his way up to the roof around one in the morning anyway. Loki is there, as usual.

“I swear, F.R.I.D.A.Y didn’t tell me you were up here. I just noticed a pattern. Gender?”

“Undecided, the most frustrating kind of day. They/them, if you please. I’m going to choose to believe you, but if I ever overhear your A.I. telling you where I am, I will fry the circuits and strangle you.” Loki replies, peeking their head around the back of their usual chair. Tony holds his hands up in defense.

“Message received, O Violent One.” he says; Loki rolls their eyes. Tony comes around to sit beside them. 

“I’m the terrible experience, aren’t I?” Loki asks without preamble. Tony flinches involuntarily; he still isn’t ready to discuss this yet.

“What do you mean?” Tony asks, still not doing a very good job of feigning innocence. Loki sends him a withering glance that tells him he’s not fooling the God of Lies. (Is there a  gender-neutral form of god?  _ Deity _ of Lies, he mentally corrects.)

“You changed the course of a missile into the portal I opened and then you barely fell back to Earth before the portal closed.” Loki says matter-of-factly.

“How do you-- Weren’t you slammed into the floor downstairs by the Hulk? You didn’t see any of it.” Tony asks, and immediately regrets bringing it up when Loki flinches at the Hulk’s name as violently as Tony had earlier. Tony watches them swallow messily as they try to gain control of the conversation again. Their voice trembles slightly when they reply, despite their best efforts.

“I’ve heard the tale.” they say, like it’s some sort of folklore. “Since I created the portal that almost killed you, I’m the cause of the trauma.”

“Other things have happened since. And being kidnapped didn’t exactly put me in a position to be able to handle any subsequent trauma, I’d guess.”

“I started it.”

“Maybe, but you’re not the only reason for it.” Tony argues. He doesn’t know why he’s trying to ease Loki’s suspicions of fault, but he can’t help it.

Loki doesn’t speak for a moment. They look out at the skyline in silence, and Tony looks, too. 

“When I came to Earth last, I was working for Thanos, because it was the only way to get out of being tortured.” Loki admits quietly. Tony whips his head around to stare at them so quickly that he hurts his neck.

“ _ What _ ?” He demands, feeling the old fury at the Mad Titan rise in him again.

Loki shrugs. “I fell from the bifrost and was found by his followers. They fucked me over pretty badly until I finally agreed to get the Tesseract for him. I was a wreck when I reached Earth.”

“So you were being mind-controlled or something?” Tony asks, still shocked.

Loki looks at him. “No. Everything I did here, I am not blameless. I could easily have made the same decisions at another time. Thanos’s influence merely made it more likely for me to make choices I was predisposed to making. The torture weakened my judgement and strengthened my negative emotions and reactions. I am at fault for my actions on Earth, but that does not negate the fact that I have to live with the aftermath of Thanos’s methods of getting what he wanted.”

“Thanos fucked us both up.” Tony says, happy to have someone else to blame for his PTSD than Loki, whom he’s quickly starting to like in spite of himself. 

“Thanos fucked a lot of people up.” Loki agrees.

“We should have a support group. Thanos Victims Anonymous.”

“What does anonymity have to do with it?” Loki asks, looking genuinely curious.

Tony shrugs. “It’s just the way support groups are named, I guess. Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous. Actually, I guess it’s usually used for substance abuse support groups, but I think it works here.”

“Brainwashing can be one hell of a drug.” Loki deadpans.

Tony laughs, and catches the barest hint of a smile on Loki’s lips.  _ Shit _ , how he wants to kiss them, just place his hand on Loki’s cheek and press his lips to theirs---

Where did  _ that _ desire come from? Tony looks away to hide his mental slip-up, but he still can’t keep the smile off of his face. 

When he feels like it’s safe to look at Loki again, he finds they’re staring at him. They don’t look away when he catches them, so they must find it innocent enough. That suspicion doesn’t stop Tony’s stomach from doing somersaults in his abdomen. 

“What are you looking at?” Tony asks.

Loki shrugs. “You.” They say simply. “I still can’t figure you out, Tony Stark.”

“What can’t you figure out?” 

“Lots of things,” Loki admits. “How you can be so self-centered and sarcastic one minute and open and hesitant the next. How you seem hell-bent on finding a reason to trust me, whatever you’ve asked your clever A.I. to do, and whatever I’ve done to you in the past. Why you want to spend your nights up here talking to a broken god when you could be sleeping or inventing in your lab.”

“You’re not broken, Loki,” Tony says softly. “PTSD doesn’t make you broken.”

“I could have chosen to be saved by my imperialistic adoptive father and my reckless brother, but instead I picked oblivion. I landed in a mad titan’s realm and let him rule me. I’ve betrayed my brother and my people a thousand times over. I’m not worth befriending.”

“You fought on our side in the war. You fought by Thor’s side on your planet, in the end. You are trying to be better. That counts for something in my book. And somewhere along the way, I  _ have _ befriended you, so there’s no turning back at this point, I’m sorry to say. You’re stuck with me.” Tony finishes with a teasing grin.

Loki rolls their eyes. “I think this decision will come back to bite you in the ass, but all right. I’ll be your friend, Stark.”

Tony doesn’t think he knows what he’s getting himself into, but he’s not going to give it up now. 

  
  
  
  


Tony knows the moment he opens the door to the roof the next night that something is not right. He doesn’t know what is wrong, but a panic starts to rise in his throat like bile. He almost calls his suit to him, but stops himself just in time. He stands still, listening to the odd sound coming from the chairs near the edge of the roof.

He realizes a second later that he’s hearing ragged breathing. It’s coming rapidly and irregularly, and the breather gasps swear words every few seconds.  _ Shit _ , Tony thinks, and he almost runs to the other side of the chairs. Loki sits in a tight ball on the chair. Their (Tony doubts Loki can answer the question of their gender right now) eyes are squeezed tightly shut, but Tony can see tears oozing from between their eyelids and flowing down their cheeks. Loki’s nails drag scratches into their bare calves. Tony notices they’ve already broken the skin in some places.

“Loki,” Tony says softly.

“I’m--fine,” Loki gasps through clenched teeth. They breathe rapidly for a few seconds, almost wheezing. They curl tighter into a ball. “You can--go.”

Tony sits down on the edge of Loki’s chair. “I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not fine.”

Loki peeks at him for a second before their eyes close tightly again and they shake their head violently. 

“Loki,” Tony says again, willing his voice to remain calm and steady even as his own pulse speeds up at the sight of Loki in the middle of a panic attack.  _ Loki _ , a fucking literal  _ god _ . “Loki,” Tony says slowly. “I’m going to help you ride this out. I need you to look at me, please.”

It’s a moment before Loki can gain control on their body enough to open their eyes and look at Tony. Tony gives them a small smile.

“Good. That’s good. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise you.” Tony speaks carefully and deliberately. “I’m going to try breathing with you. We’ll breathe in for seven beats, hold it for five, and exhale for seven. Do you think you can do that?”

Loki is quiet for a second, their whole body shuddering with the panic that is racing through their veins. At last, they nod jerkily, and Tony smiles again. “Good. You’re doing great, Loki. Okay, focus on your breathing. Breathe in.” Tony counts to seven as Loki inhales with him. “Hold your breath.” Tony counts to five as Loki watches him silently. “Now breathe out.” Tony counts to seven again as Loki exhales simultaneously. “Good.” 

Tony repeats the exercise as Loki imitates him. Tony taps out the beats with his hands on Loki’s knees, and Loki watches him like he’s the only thing in the world that matters. It takes several minutes, but slowly Loki starts to relax, the panic attack finally subsiding. Tony continues the structured breathing while Loki matches him at each count until Loki lets out one final seven-second exhale and stretches out their legs. Loki uses their now free hands to scrub the tears from their face. They swallow; Tony watches their throat bob in their neck. Loki watches him in silence for long moments, and Tony feels awkward under their gaze. They are looking at him like he has just done something incredible. He hasn’t; it’s a stupidly simple technique his therapist taught him. He’s just as impressed as Loki that the technique worked on a god. 

And then all of Tony’s discomfort vanishes, because Loki’s reaching out and pulling him into one of the tightest and most desperate hugs Tony has ever been part of. All of Tony’s suppressed longing comes to a head in that initial touch from Loki, and Tony hugs them back just as tightly.  _ Oh, my God, I love them. This is bad, this is very bad _ . 

“Thank you,” Loki whispers, so softly Tony almost thinks he imagines it.

_ I love you.  _

_ You’re welcome.  _

_ Can I kiss you? _

Tony’s head swirls with too many responses to that. “How often do you get panic attacks?” he asks instead.  _ Why are you so stupid? _ He thinks to himself.

He feels Loki shrug against him. “Maybe twice a month?” they say. “Sometimes it’s more.” They’re quiet for a moment. They give no indication of wanting to pull away, and Tony is more than content to hold them for as long as they want to be held. They smell good, like old books and some kind of mango shampoo they use. “I dozed off sometime before you came up and had a nightmare,” they admit.

“I understand.” Tony says. Incredibly, Loki buries their head in his shoulder and pulls him closer. Tony wonders if he’s the only person in the universe around whom Loki has felt comfortable enough to allow themself to be held. Tony’s heart swells, feeling it to be a special honor. 

“I know you do,” Loki murmurs. “That’s why I like you.”

Tony’s heart stops. There’s no way Loki can mean that the way he thinks, Tony assures himself. The deity said it so casually Tony’s sure they mean platonically.

Loki sighs, ignorant of how their throwaway comment has set Tony on fire. “I’m exhausted now, though.”

“You should go to bed.” Tony says reasonably. 

“You’re probably right,” Loki says. They pull away slowly and stand up. They’ve taken two steps toward the door before Tony thinks to ask.

“Loki.” Loki turns. “Gender?”

And Loki smiles. It’s not one of their small smiles, the ones that seem more artificially pasted on their face at appropriate times. No, this one lights up their entire face and sends a thrill through Tony’s body. He really has got it bad for this one, he thinks.  _ Not good _ . “You’ve been worried about that this whole time, haven’t you?” Loki asks, and they look charmed by it. Tony finds that Loki’s smile has made him forget how to speak, so he just nods. “Nonbinary, today, you strange and very thoughtful man.” 

Relief that Tony hasn’t misgendered Loki while attempting to respect their gender fills him up. He just nods again like a goddamned idiot, and Loki turns away again. They’re almost at the door before Tony works up the courage to go after them. 

He’s several steps behind them, and he realizes he won’t reach them in time. In a desperate attempt to catch them, Tony abandons casual nonchalance and calls out to them again. “Loki, wait!”

Loki turns back again in time to see Tony close the distance between them. Loki smiles again. “Yes, what is it now?” they ask, pretending to be irritated. Tony can see right through it. “You told me to go to bed, and now you keep preventing me from going!”

They’re so close, and Tony almost loses his nerve again. He ignores their teasing and reaches out to take their hands. Tony watches them swallow, though their face remains impassive. It’s the only proof that tells Tony that Loki is as nervous as he is.

“Can I kiss you?” Tony says, watching their face. “Please?”

Loki opens their mouth as if to speak, but only lets out a small gasp. They merely nod silently, watching Tony watch them. Tony leans in and closes his eyes and finally, finally presses his lips to Loki’s. 

It’s beautiful and warm and Loki’s mouth tastes like chocolate and summertime. Tony lets go of Loki’s hands to frame Loki’s face. Loki kisses back hard, reaching up to clench the front of Tony’s shirt and pull him closer. Tony kisses Loki until he runs out of air, and then kisses him for a few seconds more.

When they finally pull away, Loki is staring at him like he is the sun and the moon and the stars all rolled into one, and Tony knows he’s looking at Loki the same way. 

“Took you long enough,” Loki whispers, but they’re breathless and flushed with passion. Tony smiles at them. 

“I take my time,” Tony replies, and Loki rolls his eyes.

“You take your time freaking out, you mean.”

“Hey, you could have taken initiative at any time, you beautiful little shit.” Tony counters.

It takes him a moment to realize what he’s said, and by the time he does, so has Loki. Loki’s smile is like an early sunrise, and Tony can’t believe he just called Loki beautiful out loud, but he’s not about to take it back.

“Are you still tired?” Tony asks, trying to change the subject. Loki’s blinding smile does not waver, but they reply to Tony’s question.

“Yes, but I am  _ not _ sleeping by myself.” Loki says it frankly, but Tony catches the briefest flicker of fear that passes through Loki’s eyes and pulls them close. He presses a kiss to Loki’s forehead.

“I’ll protect you.”

“Shut up, Stark. I don’t need protecting.”

“You’re right, you don’t. But I think I’ll protect you anyway.” Tony says, and steals a kiss from Loki while they’re distracted by glaring at him.

“I’d argue with you further, but I’m going to pass out standing up if we stay out here much longer,” Loki says. 

  
  
  


 

In the morning, Loki and Tony awaken in each other’s arms after the most normal night of sleep either of them has experienced in years. Tony worries Loki will leave him in the morning, more awake in the light of day and no longer dealing with the aftermath of a panic attack. But when Loki opens her eyes, she says, “Woman,” to the question on Tony’s face and moves closer to him. She kisses his bare chest, and Tony knows he’ll be ruined for anyone else if this is how she greets him every morning.

But then Loki tucks her head so sweetly under his chin, and he thinks he can live with being ruined. 


End file.
